Articles

Older Adults, Alcohol and Other Drugs
I’m Worried . .  . Now What?

You’ve know Jack for many years, he is a friend, perhaps a relative . . .  or maybe you’ve just met him.  You see signs that are causing you concern.  He’s forgetful or doesn’t recall at all.  He has trouble tracking conversations, he’s unsteady on his feet, his complexion and general appearance is off, he’s tired, apathetic and isolates more.  His behavior and temperament might be more uneven, unpredictable, irrational.  Maybe you’ve smelled alcohol on his breathe or suspect he is over-medicating or mixing medications.  Perhaps you or others have tried to talk to him, to find out what the “problem” is, but he blows you off with explanations, excuses, even anger.  His life seems troubled.    You are knowledgeable and realistic enough to suspect that alcohol or drugs could be a problem, but you’re confused because sometimes he has it together and sometimes not.  But, undeniably you are seeing an alarming trend . . . downward. 

What do you do now? 

Understand that the signs you see are likely the symptoms of a deadly disease, alcoholism or chemical dependency.  The hallmark of that disease is denial.  Because of the denial, talking with Jack about it will not help.  It will only serve to steel his denial, embarrass him and cause him to take his disease more “underground.”  By the time you see the symptoms you are seeing, know that the problem is big and you are not making too much out of it.  The disease is advanced.  Your choices about what to do are really only two . . . leave it alone or seek help.

If Jack is a not a close friend or relative you might decide to stay out of it altogether.  Trying to help someone face a chemical addiction is a commitment and can be very challenging.  However, if you know Jack’s family or closer friends you might inform them of your concerns and encourage them to get professional help by offering a resource recommendation.

If, on the other hand, Jack is your relative or close friend you are involved, like it or not.  And, if you understand that what you are seeing is a disease that he doesn’t understand he has or will deny, then you will not try to deal with it alone without professional help and guidance.  Seeking professional help so that you and other family and friends can better help him is not only the wise and kind thing to do, it is the easiest way to tackle this problem.  Resources are available and help is only a phone call away.

If you are concerned about yourself or someone you know, please call (415) 717-3675 for information and help.

(Third is a series of articles on Chemical Dependency in Older Adults)